If you're just joining me, the inaugural drink-tweet has been moved to 6:30pm my time (34 min from now). Groceries & dinner took a while.
From @digifreak642: How many followers do you think you'll gain/lose tonight?
I have no idea. If they stuck with me for all my other baloney, I'd hate to lose any here. I think the film trumps the vodka.
I will be live "drink tweeting" Charlie Kaufman's film SYNECDOCHE, NY in 25 min. It's just over 2 hrs. If you must leave, please come back!
From @MinimeJer05: DAMN YOU MAN! I'm leaving for a movie in like 30 minutes. GRRRRRR
Sorry! I might collect the tweets in blog form.
From @MinimeJer05: Looking forward to the results.
From @theshoresofme: Have you seen SNY before?
Just bits and pieces of it.
Dinner was fettuccine marinara w/ chicken, & garlic bread, from the "fast food"-ish Italian joint. A super cute Italian girl works there.
I'll be drinking Stoli, cranberry juice, & ginger ale. It's not that I NEVER drink, just *rarely* & never to excess. Only been drunk twice.
1st drink down the hatch. I have no idea how or if I should hashtag this, so just assume everything for the next 2 hrs or so is about this.
One more drink before I begin...
Okay, here we go. Starting SYNECDOCHE, NY, with one and a half drinks in me. Please excuse this.
Does anyone read all the warnings? NO. I've always liked the Sony Pictures Classic logo.
Some kid is singing. Hoffman is waking up. A lit professor is talking on the radio. I'm okay so far.
Is this going to be about dying? HOORAY. And the daughter wants Keener to look at her poop? What did I get myself into?
From @AndrewDaar: If only you knew...
Oh shit they're already fucking around with time. Dates keep advancing. Whoa Hoffman (Caden) just cut himself pretty good. He's good upset.
Yuuuck I remember why I don't drink. Alcohol tastes gross. DON'T SWEAR IN FRONT OF YOUR KID, PHIL.
I'm glad I got pretzels because I need to eat while I drink. Caden (Hoffman) keeps confusing doctor specialties. The separation of the body?
OH HAI BRUNETTE MICHELLE WILLIAMS.
"My pupils don't work." Double meaning? Holy shit I'm already feeling these drinks. I'm a lightweight, especially considering how big I am.
From @ABIGCRYFORHELP: don't do this man. just get fucked up and watch the movie, it's not a good one to livetweet.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, DAN BUT HOW HELP
Keener fantasizes about Hoffman dying. This is definitely gonna incorporate death. Does he start to die and embrace life, but Kaufman style?
Pausing for just one sec because pretzels.
I like that a cut has Caden going to top of stairs of basement then sitting at top of stairs in theater. Simple transition.
From @Olivececile: Wow, this is your first time seeing the movie? The fact that you're chronicling the experience publicly is sort of delicious.
Kinda fucked up that his wife didn't go to opening night. Ok, another drink. This is fairly normal-ish so far. Whoa that house is YELLOW.
I've made a huge mistake.
Morton is buying a house that is ON FIRE. This is A METAPHOR. Dying. Aging. Impermanence of time/space. Should I have not picked vodka?
From @el_zilcho: Telling you, this movie is way confusing enough sboer.
Wow Kenner (Hoffman's wife) is not nice or supportive. No wonder he turns to others. Even though she's Catherine Keener. Hold on rewind.
That's what's her face as sister. Three name lady. Girl boy girl. Oh yeah Jennifer Jason Leigh. Now morning cartoon is of Hoffman.
Sycosis. Pustules. "Spelled differently than 'psychosis' but sounds the same." OH THIS IS LIKE THE TITLE. I THINK. "You could have both."
This was the wrong movie to pick you fuckers. I should have done Ferris Bueller's or something. And I'm not at half hour mark.
From @annearchist: And now you understand my advance apology for unfollowing. That movie's barely engaging while sober.
Ha ha ha. Run tell dat. Thanks in advance for coming back later. I'm sorry.
From @annearchist: I came back early. I can't let you suffer through this in a vacuum.
From @False_Rumors: How many drinks have you had thus far? I just got here.
2.75 but I'm not measuring uniformly or anything. Eyeballing it. I'm a total flyweight. Vodka is Tyson. This film is weird.
Lots of blondes or redheads for Hoffman to encounter so far, beyond his brunette wife Keener. P.S. I'm more of a brunette guy myself.
Huh. Hoffman jut saw himself in a pharmaceutical commercial. This is some trippy shit. Why did you not dissuade me before this I don't know.
From @digifreak642: I thought you were watching it BECAUSE it's really trippy
Yeah but jesus man. I had no idea. Okay now Hoffman had a seizure. Ha 911 operator thought he was a lady.
From @el_zilcho: I figured you had seen it before.
No just parts of it. I kinda knew what the general story was about but yikes.
More cartoon Hoffman. Those are some inappropriate shoes for lady therapist Hope Davis. This is like if P.T. Anderson got hit on the head.
This type of film makes me sad that I'll probably never make a film myself, guano-crazy or otherwise. There's just so much to do.
From @annearchist: You should have gone with Xanadu, my friend.
You Xanadon’t it.
Samantha Morton is coming on strong just like this vodka. I wonder how many others in real life begged her for a kiss.
Okay I kinda like that the moments of real interpersonal connection are contrasted with bizarro settings, etc. That's kind of neat.
You can never change a man, ladies / Morton. But fellas, you should never want to change a lady either. ALCOHOL = TRUTH.
If there was ever a film adaptation of JIMMY CORRIGAN, SMARTEST KID ON EARTH, it would have to be Hoffman as the titular character, right?
How many people that like this movie would be so orgasmic about receiving a MacArthur grant like Hoffman here? Holy shit I'm not at 40 min.
From @AndrewDaar: It is one of the longest 2 hour movies I've ever seen. And I was sober.
I get it, you guys. I get why you drink. I need to find people and a safe environment to drink in, & less masturbatory thesis films to see.
He's gonna do like a life-size play. The words "soaking in our very menstrual blood" just passed his lips. I only bought 1 bottle of Stoli.
Drink no. 4 cause fuck it. I am become ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER.
Shout out to non-Twitter A.V. Club registered user Scrawler for the tip on a splash of ginger ale.
Samantha Morton is the box office lady. She is the point of purchase, literally. I don't know what I mean. People have to buy through her?
I really want Michelle Williams to win an Oscar. I don't know that the MARILYN flick should be it, but damn, props to her for her choices.
NO FOLLOWERS LOST YET. People must be doing other things.
Whoa wait. Who died? Now Michelle Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman are fucking and then getting married because this is a movie.
Michelle Williams looks great as a redhead. This is true of pretty much all women. Now Hoffman & her have a kid already. I don't know how.
"You're almost non-recognizable now." This is a line that someone wrote, someone memorized and delivered, and someone didn't cut. I'm drunk?
So Hoffman's first kid Olive is grown up, a little. J.J.L. has a German accent. Apparently seven years have passed? J.J.L. & P.S.H. fight!?!
BAck alley breakdown with eyedrops. If I had a nickel. This film is going way too fast for me. This is a giant fucking warehouse they're in.
Does Caden mean something else? Significance? Cadence? Okay now Morton said she has twins, "Robert & Daniel & Alan." Whiskey Tango Fuck.
Spike Jonze should get a Nobel and an Oscar if it means putting up with the shit I think it would take to deal with Charlie Kaufman.
From @sarCCastro: You mean for getting handed a script by him and then saying "thank you?"
You guys, this is the most I've drank in a decade or so. And it's with this wackadoodle film. I should be out birddogging chicks.
From @sarCCastro: people don't say that anymore.
From @Ernielies: yeah they're skirts now
From @AndrewDaar: Pterodaxaactyl
Oops shit you know what I meant.
Caden just called his 2nd daughter by his 1st daughter's name. And now his father died. And someone is watching him with Michelle Williams.
Labels for drugs that cause drowsiness should be amended to "Do not drive. Do not operate heavy machinery. Do not watch SYNECDOCHE, NY."Caden's reading the diary of his daughter (who I think is in Europe) in real time? No temporal meaning. Now there's a naked... ew it's her.
"When are we going to get an audience in here? It's been 17 years." You said it, person who I don't know. You said it.
This had to cause some walk outs during its theatrical run. It had to. I will say it's been very visually striking the whole time.This serial-killing looking motherfucker looks familiar. Noonan?
If you're keeping score at home, that's two movies with Philip Seymour Hoffman that featured the word "chimera" prominently. This & M: I 3.
Caden is thinking of calling his meta play "Simulacrum" because of course he is. I knew I couldn't fucking escape Baudrillard with this.
Kudos to whatever film execs greenlit this because this is some daring shit. They probably wanted to bone Michelle Williams too.
I can't keep up, tweeting-wise, with what is going on. Twice now people have confused him with a lady.
From @ABIGCRYFORHELP: seirously this is not the best movie to livetweet.
Well Dan I now that know but Rubicon, etc.
I am gaining followers during this. This is why Skynet will never happen.
From @_TheTerminator_: There is another chip. And it must be destroyed also.Noonan is coming on to Wiliams. Morton is standing by. Williams is upset because it's TOM NOONAN.
Now Samantha Morton is playing another Samantha Morton. Caden is moving out while rehearsals continue. ???????
Now Caden had apartment set walled up. To disavow the audience/reality. And his kid Olive is dying? I want tiny pieces of pizza, too, Olive.
The flower tattoos that Caden's first daughter got have become infected and she's dying. I think this might be SUBTEXT I can't be sure.
If James Joyce could see SYNECDOCHE, NY, he'd roll his eyes and make a jerking-off pantomime.
Have I made any egregious typos yet hey I just spelled egregious okay on the first time so I'm okay occifer move along whooo.
Between the pasta I had & the vodka I'm drinkin while watching SYNECDOCHE, NY, the modern history of Russia & Italy is restaged in my tummy.
Oh no Dianne Weist I never really liked her. I dind't even catch who she is but I don't realyl care at this point.
I would read the IMDb synopsis of this and the comments but with now 5 drinks in me I think it would make me vomit.
This film is really sad you guys. People keep dying. Caden lost his father, daughter, and mother. Is he trying to cheat death with his play?
Caden's mom died in a home invasion. I'm scared that if that ever happened to me, my martial arts training (somewhat lapsed) wouldn't help.
Samantha Morton is way naked. Her saying "fucking" repeatedly is kind of sobering.
There is a lot of gender confusion going on here. Like Kaufman trying to make a film that cinema classes would put on every syllabus.
Seriously, Philip Seymour Hoffman IS Jimmy Corrigan. Look that shit up. I love that graphic collection. One of my fave books. By Chris Ware.
"After death there's no more watching, no more following, no love." That's pretty nice, I have to say. "I didn't jump."
I can *sense* what Kaufman is trying to accomplish here, but it's a mess. But maybe it's supposed to be. There's some lovely acting moments.
From @RowanKaiser: If only @PereKidA were alive to see this livetweet... (he loves that film)
From @ABIGCRYFORHELP: you'll get it if you actually sit and watch it and not livetweet it.
Go piss on a cat or whatever [inside joke]. I said I was going to do this. It's an experiment. Caden's trying to hold on to everything.
From @RowanKaiser: Hoffman is an actor in someone else's play the whole time. That someone is God. WHOA
"I have a title: 'The Obscure Moon Lighting an Obscure World'." "It might be too much." I wonder HOW self-aware Kaufman is. 95%[?] 100%[?]
Am I contributing to this metanarrative transmedia stuff by live drink-tweeting SYNECDOCHE, NY? But I don't have as many issues as this guy.
"Maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery" DING DING DING DING DING
From @sarCCastro: Wait...have you not seen it before?
No, not really. I knew it was like a big play or whatever but not much else.
From @sarCCastro: What you're doing is stupid. Not judging...just saying.
From @RowanKaiser: What you're doing is awesome, Eric. Do it again with Tree Of Life tomorrow or something.
Thank you so much Rowan I appreciate that. Not tomorrow, though. But good idea.
I don't think I could be snarky about The Tree of Life, because I absolutely love that film. It would just be tweet-sobbing.
From @RowanKaiser: Just don't get maudlin drunk! Stay snarky.
This movie is what middle America thinks is what high-falutin' Hollywood types lord over them AND THEY'RE RIGHT.
From @sarCCastro: Oh, the live-tweeting of it's fun. But I don't think you should watch a movie like that drunk.
From @RowanKaiser: I dunno. Probably beats watching it sober.
I can't really make fun of what I'm guessing is the climax. This is beautiful though still strange. If one could anticipate one's life.
The warehouse set / NYC is a smoking wreck. "You are everyone." Old Hoffman is stumbling through. Sigur Ros is playing. Very humbling.
"... as you shed your beauty, your youth. As you recognize your transience."
"Where is everybody?" "Mostly dead, some have left." Such is life. Charlie Kaufman, the last minute of this is for you: http://youtu.be/eIpsDTSmRyM
[A separate, unrelated tweet in my feed] From @johnteti: Yes I am designing a website right now. I'm not just sitting here thinking up CSS jokes. My Saturday night is SLIGHTLY less sad than that.
I've live drunk-tweeting SYNECDOCHE, NY, buddy, I got you beat.
From @emilyyoshida: I'm drunk-reading his drunk-tweets of Synecdrunke. #weallwin
From @johnteti: I'm sober. Winner.
I am sorry I couldn't keep the narrative together during this experiment but HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FUCKING FILM?
It's over. Lovely song at credits. Ok. ::composes selff:: So. In trying to capture "life"/"reality" etc. he loses out on those. Basically?
Interesting how the most formulaic bits came at the end, after all the experimental, perhaps purposefully distancing stuff. Like ADAPTATION.
Hoffman was great, as per usual. Really good work with the actors, all around. I wonder if they were eager for something like this.
Aww it's been 42 minutes since I got a fave or retweet. Sorry. I don't think I'm a maudlin drunk but this is a complex, sad movie.
SO. I need to watch that again, stone cold sober and wide awake. Maybe I'll play my Spider-Man game and have drunk Spidey crash into stuff.
Any other tweeps see this film? What did you think? Caden tries to postpone the inevitable? Art > life > death? Identity as a collective?
From @Olivececile: I could not get a handle on that movie, and I feel bad about it. Maybe I should try rewatching with a bottle of red wine.
From @eggbuerto: On certain days it's probably my favorite film. Felt like a slightly structured existential nightmare.
Yeah okay I can see that.
From @eggbuerto: Kaufman described it as his attempt at a horror movie. His press interviews about that movie are pretty interesting.
I'm not very versed in horror films since I'm so squeamish, but that's a pretty unique take.
Any questions? Thanks for putting up with me. That was kind of fun, I guess. My whole MAIN deal for why I don't drink is to stay in control.
But if I'm at home, & I can share & interact with you, it's not so bad. Since I'm not at all a drinker, & not very social, I don't drink.
That concludes this drink tweet deal. Here's what's left of the vodka - my thumb is just above meniscus. What a wimp. [Photo]
[That is the end of the film response proper, as it were. The rest is epilogue.]
From @annearchist: Thank you. You took 1 for the team & it was fun. I'm inspired to do 1, but with 70 followers, it'd feel like talking to myself.
Everybody follow @annearchist goddammit. Now I'm being belligerent. Don't make me fight you.
To @ZODIAC_MF: I, lightweight, "drink-tweeted" SYNECDOCHE, NY tonight, & have even more respect for you, you high-functioning alcoholic.
From @ZODIAC_MF: HANGOVER CURE: SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN WITH EGG AND A LARGE ORANGE JUICE
Duly fucking noted, Obi-Wan. Much obliged.
From @ZODIAC_MF: HAHAHAHA WELL UNLIKE OBIWAN ID JUST TELL YOU STRAIGHT UP THAT YOUR FATHERS A FUCKING ASSHOLE
You have never been more right.
So, any tips in advance if I have a hangover? It's still early so hopefully I won't, but I'd welcome some old-timey remedies.
From @el_zilcho: The best thing is to prevent it. Just drink a few glasses of water before bed.
Thanks, Tony. I don't even know these things.
From @Olivececile: A hangover is just still being drunk. So, put a lampshade on your head and do some early-morning ex-girlfriend texting.
Ha ha ha "ex-girlfriend." You don't know me at all.
From @Olivececile: ex-boyfriend, ex-third grade teacher, ex-goldfish. The point is to try to messily reconnect with your past, in whatever form.
From @crsbecker: Drink lots of water before bed.
Thank you, I will do so.
From @RowanKaiser: Just drink a lot of water tonight, eat if you're hungry.
Thank you, that seems to be the consensus. ::shooting rainbow-tailed star across sky::
From @ClaytonOeth: I definitely enjoyed drunkenly interpretting your drunken interpretations of my vague memories of that insane movie.
From @erykmynn: water, now, grease for breakfast, cheers
Seriously how did I gain and not lose followers from that. You like me, a lot of unmonitored accounts, you really like me.
From @digifreak642: Probably a lot of people are sleeping or watching tv/movies or "being social"
To @emilyyoshida: Dammit,
#Synecdrunke should have been the hashtag for this. That's why you make the big bucks.
While my head is currently throbbing a little, and I'm curious as to how I'll feel about tomorrow, it was rather fun, I have to say. Any suggestions for another movie, for some future occasion? Something I can be snarkier about, and definitely not something as heady.